Parenting Tip: Children live up to our versions of them

As a parent who also is a therapist, I love working with other parents. Because I am right in it, too. So, I am always trying to grow so that I can be best version for my kids and for my clients. Here is a great resource I wanted to share from Big Life Journal :

We all want our children to be successful, kind, resilient, grateful, confident.

But how do we get them to be this way?

The simplest but most powerful tip I was given as a parent is that our children live up to our versions of them.

What does it mean?

It means they respond to and reflect back to us our expectations and our opinions of them.

You might be thinking…but my child is acting unkind, why should I tell them that I think they ARE kind?

Separate the behavior from your child. It’s important that you separate, in your mind, their behaviors from their true selves.

Remember that they are NOT their actions and behaviors. Their brains are developing. Their emotions often get in the way. 

What we need to remember is that they are always good inside.

And it’s very important for children to know that you see this goodness in them.

Here are some things you can say: 

  • “I believe you’re a kid who can do hard things.”
  • “I know you’re a kind and loving brother.”
  • “I know you’re feeling grateful inside.”

They will reflect back your version of them…

I hope this was helpful. I will see you back here soon.

Thank you for reading and sharing.

At Alive Counselling, we are mom’s who are also therapists who would love to support you. Contact us or book in below:

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