How to Support Socially Anxious Teens

At Alive Counselling we have a team of therapists for teens in Kelowna and offer online therapy for teens. We have moms, former teachers, youth group leaders, and therapists who love working with teens!

Supporting a Socially Anxious Teen: Guidance for Parents and the Role of Counselling for Teens in Kelowna and Online Counselling for Teens and Parents

Navigating the teenage years can be a tumultuous journey for both teens and their parents. For those grappling with social anxiety, the challenges can be even more profound. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) can make everyday interactions seem overwhelming, leading to avoidance of social situations, diminished self-esteem, and even academic struggles. As a parent or caregiver, understanding how to support a socially anxious teen and knowing where to find help, whether in Kelowna or online, is crucial. Here’s a guide to navigating this journey with compassion and practical strategies.

Understanding Social Anxiety in Teens

Social anxiety in teens manifests as intense fear or worry about social interactions and situations. This can include a fear of being judged, embarrassed, or not meeting expectations. Common symptoms may include:

  • Avoidance of social situations
  • Excessive self-consciousness
  • Physical symptoms such as sweating or trembling
  • Difficulty speaking or making eye contact

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward providing effective support.

Strategies to Support Your Socially Anxious Teen

  1. Listen Without Judgment: Create a safe space where your teen feels heard and understood. Avoid minimizing their feelings or suggesting they simply “get over it.” Validate their emotions and reassure them that their concerns are taken seriously.
  2. Encourage Gradual Exposure: Help your teen face their fears in small, manageable steps. Start with less intimidating social situations and gradually work up to more challenging ones. Celebrate each small victory to build their confidence.
  3. Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Teach your teen stress-relief techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or journaling. Encourage activities that boost their self-esteem and provide a sense of achievement.
  4. Maintain Open Communication: Regularly check in with your teen about their experiences and feelings. Keeping the lines of communication open can help you stay connected and better understand their struggles.
  5. Foster Social Skills: Encourage participation in activities that involve social interaction but are also enjoyable, like clubs, sports, or hobbies. These environments can help your teen practice social skills in a low-pressure setting.
  6. Model Positive Behavior: Demonstrate healthy ways to handle anxiety and stress. Your behavior can serve as a powerful example for your teen.

The Role of Counselling in Kelowna for teens and Online Counselling for teens

Therapists can be a valuable resource for teens dealing with social anxiety. Counsellors can offer specialized strategies and therapeutic techniques to help manage and reduce anxiety. In Kelowna and online, there are various counselling options available:

Counselling in Kelowna

Kelowna offers a range of counselling services tailored to teens dealing with social anxiety:

  • In-Person Therapy: Local therapists provide face-to-face counselling sessions, allowing for personalized interaction and immediate feedback. Organizations such as the Alive Counselling, and private practitioners offer dedicated services for adolescent mental health.
  • Group Therapy: Group therapy sessions can provide a supportive environment where teens can share their experiences with peers facing similar challenges. This format can be particularly beneficial for developing social skills and building confidence.
Join our Teen Support Group at Alive Counselling

Online Counselling

Online counselling offers flexibility and accessibility for teens who may find it challenging to attend in-person sessions:

  • Virtual Therapy Platforms: You can connect with one of our therapists through secure video or phone sessions. These platforms can be especially useful for teens who prefer the convenience and privacy of online interactions.
  • Specialized Teen Therapy Resources: We use certain websites, apps, and resources focus specifically on adolescent mental health, offering resources and support tailored to the unique needs of teens with social anxiety.

Finding the Right Counsellor

When seeking counselling, whether in Kelowna or online, consider the following:

  • Credentials and Experience: Ensure the counsellor has experience working with adolescents and is knowledgeable about social anxiety.
  • Approach and Style: Look for a therapist whose approach aligns with your teen’s needs. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often effective for social anxiety, but other modalities may also be beneficial.
  • Comfort and Rapport: It’s important that your teen feels comfortable with their counselor. Building a positive therapeutic relationship can enhance the effectiveness of the treatment.

Conclusion

Supporting a socially anxious teen requires patience, understanding, and proactive engagement. By fostering a supportive environment at home and seeking professional counselling, either in Kelowna or online, you can help your teen navigate their anxiety and build the skills they need to thrive. Remember, overcoming social anxiety is a journey, and with the right resources and support, your teen can develop the confidence and resilience needed to lead a fulfilling life.

Contact Alive Counselling
CHILDREN & YOUTH, MENTAL HEALTH from Crisis and Trauma Research Institute to support socially anxious teens.

5 Tips To Help You Support Socially Anxious Teens

“I refuse to eat at school because I don’t want anyone to look at me and think I look gross,” a 14-year-old young woman shared with me during our counselling session.

Social anxiety is the fear of being scrutinized and humiliated in front of others to the point of severe distress or avoidance. It can cause people to worry about being viewed as stupid, boring, gross, awkward, or anxious. Those who are socially anxious often feel sad and lonely because they recognize that others don’t understand their fears.

Social anxiety is the third most common mental health disorder after depression and substance abuse.

As children become teenagers, they are more susceptible to becoming socially anxious because of the increased cognitive complexity and self-consciousness adolescence brings. This is a necessary developmental stage that creates an awareness of their own inner thoughts and feelings, as well as the awareness of the self as a social object. It allows for the appraisal of oneself and others at the same time that individuation and a greater reliance on peers occurs.

The ability to compare differences between oneself and others brings with it a greater sense of vulnerability. Where children are able to feel proud of their skills and interests, adolescents tend to focus on their differences. This is why they are often more concerned about rejection and failure than they were as children. In fact, youth who struggle with social anxiety may be so self-conscious and fearful that they are unable to engage in typical daily tasks and interactions.

Children who are shy, withdrawn, or highly sensitive are at greater risk of developing social anxiety as they enter adolescence. It also tends to be common for those who have experienced separation anxiety or struggle with social skills. Social anxiety is the third most common mental health disorder after depression and substance abuse.

It’s common for parents to notice changes in their child’s behaviour, and to wonder whether they are purely introverted or actually socially anxious.

Signs That May Indicate a Teen is Socially Anxious

  • Great effort to avoid new activities or social and performance situations
  • Wanting a parent to be available to them at all times
  • Difficulty attending or participating in class
  • Avoiding public behaviours such as eating or using restrooms
  • Fear of being looked at with harsh negative thoughts about themselves

The key to being an effective support is learning about how social anxiety impacts the nervous system and understanding the developmental components of social appraisal.

TweetShare

https://www.facebook.com/v3.0/plugins/share_button.php?app_id=&channel=https%3A%2F%2Fstaticxx.facebook.com%2Fx%2Fconnect%2Fxd_arbiter%2F%3Fversion%3D46%23cb%3Dffbbba7cda35d12e3%26domain%3Dctrinstitute.com%26is_canvas%3Dfalse%26origin%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fctrinstitute.com%252Fffef57c7b589c8d9e%26relation%3Dparent.parent&container_width=16&href=https%3A%2F%2Fctrinstitute.com%2Fblog%2F5-tips-for-supporting-your-socially-anxious-teen%2F%3Futm_source%3DActiveCampaign%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_content%3D5%2520Tips%2520To%2520Help%2520You%2520Support%2520Socially%2520Anxious%2520Teens%26utm_campaign%3DAugust%252024%2520-%2520Blog%26vgo_ee%3Dw3vkAWXgmckNjVjn%252FcrGRUCw5YTmctK8uNhVMCNDruz4LrWGrtI3tQtQS%252B%252BJ%253AdRIOz9ofImOyDgVu0BsRpJFtYqOdR9la&layout=button_count&locale=en_US&sdk=joey

If your teen’s fear of scrutiny is resulting in avoidance and distress, recruit a team to help support them. This may include a trained therapist and school staff who can help you implement a support plan.

5 Key Points When Helping a Socially Anxious Teen

1. Educate Yourself

The key to being an effective support is learning about how social anxiety impacts the nervous system and understanding the developmental components of social appraisal. You can help your teen tune in to their body response and learn to see their anxiety as a “trick” – that the body is merely confused. This will help them understand that anxiety is an adaptive stress response that has gone awry and that they are experiencing false alarms in their body.

A basic understanding of adolescent development can help you empathize with the significant vulnerabilities that come with this developmental stage. It is important to increase your compassion rather than get frustrated or stuck in patterns of pushing, judging, and criticizing. Recognize that a socially anxious teenager is experiencing an exaggerated version of typical adolescent development.

2. Model Calm

Mirroring is a natural part of human interconnection, and our bodies absorb the energy of those around us. This is especially true for our family members who are most sensitive to our mood. As parents, it is key that we stay calm as our own anxiety and frustration will feed our teenager’s anxiety. I like to refer to this concept as “owning the mood in the home.” Practice calming the nervous system through breathing, relaxation, and mindfulness exercises. Once this is natural for you, you can support your teen to do the same.

As parents, it is key that we stay calm as our own anxiety and frustration will feed our teenager’s anxiety.

TweetShare

https://www.facebook.com/v3.0/plugins/share_button.php?app_id=&channel=https%3A%2F%2Fstaticxx.facebook.com%2Fx%2Fconnect%2Fxd_arbiter%2F%3Fversion%3D46%23cb%3Dfb16d62bc1b97c7b6%26domain%3Dctrinstitute.com%26is_canvas%3Dfalse%26origin%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fctrinstitute.com%252Fffef57c7b589c8d9e%26relation%3Dparent.parent&container_width=16&href=https%3A%2F%2Fctrinstitute.com%2Fblog%2F5-tips-for-supporting-your-socially-anxious-teen%2F%3Futm_source%3DActiveCampaign%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_content%3D5%2520Tips%2520To%2520Help%2520You%2520Support%2520Socially%2520Anxious%2520Teens%26utm_campaign%3DAugust%252024%2520-%2520Blog%26vgo_ee%3Dw3vkAWXgmckNjVjn%252FcrGRUCw5YTmctK8uNhVMCNDruz4LrWGrtI3tQtQS%252B%252BJ%253AdRIOz9ofImOyDgVu0BsRpJFtYqOdR9la&layout=button_count&locale=en_US&sdk=joey

3. Bring Attention to Thoughts

The more time our body spends in anxious states, the more strongly neuropathways develop that prompt the body to jump into the stress response. This concept also applies to our thoughts. The more an adolescent has thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “They think I’m stupid,” or “Everyone is looking at me,” the stronger and more automatic they become.

Help your teen recognize anxious thought patterns so they can practice finding more adaptive and realistic thoughts to replace them. This will help them gradually develop more healthy ways of thinking. Remind them to practice this technique regularly as new neuropathways don’t develop overnight.

4. Face Fears

Although empathy for our children is key, we shouldn’t enable their avoidance by lowering our expectations and constantly rescuing them. Gradual exposure to feared situations can be effective for helping your teen learn to tolerate small degrees of anxiety. This will also give them opportunities to practice coping strategies that can help them feel less distressed and more successful.

Remind your teen that experiencing a bit of anxiety while being successful is the best way to overcome social anxiety. Notice and celebrate even small steps and work together with your teen’s school to ask for support in planning. A fear ladder is a helpful tool that you can develop together. Along with their support team, help your teen identify goals and plan small steps they can take to reach them. As fears are often school-related, it will be important to collaborate with your teen’s school team to develop a realistic and effective plan.

5. Practice

Regardless of what your teenager’s particular fears are, anxiety robs them of their ability to think rationally and solve problems. For example, if your socially anxious teenager isn’t confident in their ability to approach a potential employer or answer questions in an interview, their anxiety will only increase once placed in that situation, minimizing the likelihood of success. Work with them to prepare for the interview, problem solve, and practice. Determine what areas they find the most difficult, discuss possible outcomes, and role play difficult social scenarios. Teenagers don’t necessarily know what to expect or what will be expected of them because their brain is still developing. The fear of the unknown can exacerbate their anxiety response.

In Summary

Parents naturally worry about their children as they enter adolescence, hoping they will develop into strong, independent, and confident adults. Making friends, being successful in school, and developing independent interests can be interrupted when teenagers are impacted by social anxiety. Being an empathic, calm, and engaged parent or helper can greatly benefit your socially anxious teen and assist them to face their fears, one step at a time.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

For more FREE RESOURCES on this topic and others, visit our free resources page.

Author

Tricia Klassen

MSW, RSW – Trainer, Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

Trish is a co-author of CTRI’s book, Counselling Insights – Practical Strategies for Helping Others with Anxiety, Trauma, Grief, and More

To receive notification of a new blog posting, subscribe to our newsletter or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
© CTRI Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute (www.ctrinstitute.com)
Interested in using the content of this blog? Learn more here.

Share this post