Exercises to Help Children with Negative Self-Talk
Exercises to Help Children with Negative Self-Talk
Helping a child manage negative self-talk involves building their self-esteem, encouraging self-compassion, and teaching them how to reframe their thoughts. Here are a few practical exercises I love to use with kiddos and families that we get to support in counselling in Kelowna, as well as with my own four children!
1. The “Thought Detective” Game
Objective: Teach them to challenge negative thoughts and find evidence to support or refute them.
- Instructions:
- Ask the child to write down (or tell you) the negative thought, e.g., “I’m bad at math.”
- Pretend to be detectives and investigate:
- Is this thought 100% true?
- What evidence supports it?
- What evidence shows it might not be true?
- What would you say to a friend who thought this?
- Help them reframe the thought, e.g., “I’m learning math, and it’s okay to take time.”
2. Positive Jar or Notebook
Objective: Focus on strengths and positive qualities.
- Instructions:
- Use a jar or notebook and encourage the child to write one thing they did well or something they like about themselves each day.
- Read through these notes during tough times to counteract negative self-talk.
3. Self-Compassion Role Play
Objective: Encourage kindness toward themselves.
- Instructions:
- When the child says something negative, ask, “Would you say this to your best friend?”
- If not, ask them to rephrase it in a kinder way, imagining they’re speaking to a friend.
4. “Switch the Channel” Visualization
Objective: Redirect focus from negative to positive thoughts.
- Instructions:
- Explain that their brain is like a TV with channels.
- When a negative thought appears, say, “Let’s switch the channel to a positive one.”
- Help them think of a happy memory or a favorite activity.
5. Affirmation Creation
Objective: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations.
- Instructions:
- Work together to create affirmations that counteract common negative thoughts.
- Examples: “I am brave,” “I can learn new things,” or “Mistakes help me grow.”
- Repeat these affirmations daily, perhaps in front of a mirror.
6. Balloon Release Exercise
Objective: Let go of negative thoughts.
- Instructions:
- Have the child write or draw their negative thoughts on paper balloons.
- Pretend to release them into the sky, saying, “I’m letting go of this thought.”
7. Gratitude Rainbow
Objective: Shift focus to positive experiences.
- Instructions:
- Draw a rainbow with six sections (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple).
- Ask the child to write one thing they’re grateful for in each color band.
These exercises should be fun and engaging, while gently reinforcing healthier thinking patterns. You can adjust them based on the child’s interests and comfort level.